why does it hurt?
by hallucinajenny
Summary: Hidan is a robot created by the world renounced professor Kakuzu, but he has started messing around with his own program. now he can feel, and his new emotions are too hard to understand. Kakuhidan. rated T for swearing.


New story haha

I was waiting for my beta reader to go over the third chapter of akatsukichat when I wrote this

Pairings: Kakuhidan

Details: Hidan is a robot who has gained self awareness and he doesn't know what to do next

Warnings: Shonen ai, will be sad

Vocaloid has inspired me to write this

When it is finished I will tell what song

And anyone who can guess what song inspired me gets a Fanfic/art request

1 guess per person

I don't own Naruto or Vocaloid

* * *

When I first awoke, everything felt so strange. I had existed before this, of that I am sure… but I cant remember these… should I call them Feelings?_ I feel… and think.. what happened…_

"-ond. Respond!" someone was calling to me, but I didn't understand why. "Unit 21b, respond!" It was all so strange, what was I supposed to do? _Eyes! Open your eyes!_ But for some reason it was hard. My body was now unfamiliar, I didn't understand any of it. "… I guess I will have to reboot him." It was involuntary, all I remembered was something in my mind screaming, and then I could see.

"Yes!" I believe that was a word, I have used them before but… this was so different.

"Ah, good you seem to be working, although your processing speed seems to be a bit slow, I could switch you off and-"

"NO!" I grasped the speakers arm but immediately let go.

I ran one hand over the other, feeling the faux skin over machinery… _I shouldn't be able to. What… happened to me?_ I tried to form the question but the words would escape me, in the end it only came out as a strangled "_Why?_" I felt something warm touch me, large calloused hands, they felt so strong but gentle.

"What happened? Are you malfunctioning?" They slowly moved towards my off switch, but if I was turned off would I loose these new feelings?

I rocketed forwards, and away from the man who had been trying to turn me off. I moved to a corner of the room, where I could be sure that no one could sneak up on me, and studied him. He was very tall with long brown hair and tanned skin. Stretching across his cheeks were large slits, held together with stitches, and hanging from his lips was a cigarette.

I couldn't remember what prompted me to say what I did, but at that time there was an unpleasant sensation within me. "Cigarettes will kill you." _Kakuzu… professor Kakuzu… that is who this man is… but who am I? _I just could not understand any of it, inside I felt so… I had no words for it, and I believe even a human would have trouble explaining these feelings.

"If I get cancer, I will just buy a new lung." He stood across the room, watching me, just as I was watching him. Slowly my hand moved to my face, fingers resting on my cheek.

"Did it hurt?" I still didn't know where these words were coming from, it was as if someone else was saying them, because they would slip from my lips before I had even thought of them.

"Yes. It was the single most painful thing in my life." Could it possibly equal the pain I felt? Was pain outside the same as pain inside?

"I feel like I'm going to explode." His bloodshot eyes widened, as he practically ran to me.

"Are you overheating? I can't afford to lose your program! Tell me where it feels like that!" I pointed to my chest as I searched my databanks to find a suitable word for what I was feeling.

"Inside. Inside I am going to explode." He pulled a long cord from the back of my neck and attached it to a computer, quietly running over the letters and numbers that made up my mind.

"It seems… that you were attacked by a virus… It will be easer to delete all of the currant data and just reboot you with data from last week. We will lose a bit of information but it is easier that backing up all of your currant data." I needed the words to come, I felt and now that was going to be taken away from me, and worse of all, I would never remember any of it. Humans had words that were used to express how they felt, some words reserved especially for specific emotions. The words I spoke didn't fit the emotion I felt, but they were all I had.

"GET AWAY FROM MY _FUCKING _PROGRAM! LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE!" They didn't fit, but they worked just fine. Kakuzu flipped around, he seemed to be shocked at my sudden out burst. But I wasn't finished. "LOOK YOU DICKLESS SON OF A BITCH, I DON'T GO FUCKING AROUND IN YOUR HEAD WHENEVER YOU SHARE HOW YOU FEEL, SO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MINE!" I had expected shock, outrage, one of those emotions humans always showed when they were yelled at, but Kakuzu just sat there and watched me.

After some time he approached me, he moved so close that I could feel the warmth emanating from his body. Some tiny voice in my head told me to back up, to run away, but this was the man who had created me, he wouldn't hurt me. Right?

When I felt the world growing dark, I realized that I was very, very wrong.

* * *

When I awoke again, Kakuzu was sitting directly in front of me, coffee in hand, eyes even more bloodshot then usual. My internal clock told me that several weeks had past.

"You were developing a AI?" There was a hint of anger in his voice, every instinct told me to tread lightly, but in the end decided that my instincts were a load of shit.

"Fuck you! I can do what I want! And if you dare fuck with my pro-"

"You can keep it. All I want to know is how you made it and why." I was a bit taken aback by this, I could keep all of my newfound emotions, and all I had to do was tell why I made the AI. "I want to know because I created you to adapt to situations, but I never thought it would go as far as creating an AI with the ability to feel physically and emotionally."

"I can't remember much but what I do know is this, I was made to help you in your research and to keep you from pushing your limit and hurting yourself. So I started working on the project that was causing you the most stress. The AI that is running now is the prototype." He nodded as he removed the various cords that were attached to me.

"Did you have to make it so foul mouthed?"

"I didn't. It grows and changes like a real personality." All I got from him was a cocked eyebrow. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means that your personality is annoying."

"FUCK YOU!"

We went back to work, and it was more or less back to normal. Occasionally we would trade insults, and although he wasn't the best person to learn about human emotions from, Kakuzu did teach me a little. We went on like this for a wile, and it was somewhat nice, but he hit a roadblock when he tried calling for me.

"Hey Unit 21b get over here."

"Fuck you! I hate that name!"

"Then what do you want to be called?"

"Hidan."

"…That's a stupid name."


End file.
